Away in a... STABLE??

SO throughout this Christmas season I often have gone out to feed Blaze and looked at his stable in awe of what that night must have been like for Mary and Joseph. You see... although I try to keep up on things pretty good... there is really not a day that goes by when Blaze does not make a mess in his stable... if you know what I mean. Until I have had to shovel such messes daily... I guess I never really thought it was THAT bad in "the" stable... but now... come to think of it... I BET it had a few messes... from a few different kind of animals too.

Our youth pastors had an outstanding sermon on Sunday... about the reality of Joseph and Mary's situation. How they probably thought they had life figured out... and then came this angel... with all sorts of news that didn't make sense... NOT the way I bet Mary and Joseph had hoped their life would have panned out. And then once they had as good of a grasp on the situation as they could... news of the census. Not too convenient for a carpenter who most likely had proudly crafted his new babe's crib and a 8 month pregnant lady who will have to ride on a donkey 70 miles through the mountains... after all that however, I am sure Joseph and Mary found it reassuring that a nice room and bed would be waiting for them... only to find out once more... life was not going the way THEY planned... the King of the world would be born in a messy stable. I bet you they were questioning this... I mean imagine being them... wouldn't you wonder if you missed something along the way? But this WAS God's plan.


So with our adoptions we move forward... riding 70 long miles on a donkey we didn't expect we would have to ride, but God knows the big picture... that is what we have to rely on... HIS plans... not our own. May we be as faithful as Mary and Joseph... even through the messes.

Friendship and Sunshine

This afternoon I went out to see Blaze and give him a little treat. I was surprised to see all his food from this morning hardly even touched. The same thing happened yesterday. I had a feeling yesterday that Blaze might be lonely... sure... I am probably looking a little too far into this, but it's interesting. On Sunday we woke up to several inches of new snow on the ground, I went out and fed Blaze a little hay, gave him a little water and some petting... but when I walked away Blaze began to whinny. I had a feeling something was not right, I told Rob I was concerned that he hadn't eaten and that he whinnied when I walked away, he never really does that. Rob mentioned that he probably wanted me to stay out and play in the snow. I never really thought horses LIKED deep snow and would want to play in it... but I gave it a chance and I walked along the fence of Blaze's pasture, and sure enough the play began. He began to run around his pasture like a race horse. Blaze is a horse that needs a little borrowed confidence from time to time, and I guess my presence gave him permission to run. There was SO MUCH snow flying everywhere that I could only see the top half of Blaze's body. He looked SO beautiful and so powerful throwing his head around as he went back and forth between a sprint and a trot. The importance of my presence was confirmed as he continually ran up only feet away from me and stopped quickly with a swirl of snow catching up with him as it whipped around him, then throwing his head back over his shoulder only to take off again. Today as I saw he still was not eating much I wondered again if maybe he was a little lonely. My thoughts were confirmed as just having me in there with him was enough to encourage him to eat. And as I stood there in his stall I looked out and saw the nice sunshine and wondered if a little hay in the sunshine might please him... and it did the trick. It's amazing what a little friendship and sunshine can do! How many times have we just felt the presence of a friend free us to run. The power of friendship can be very releasing. God has used Blaze today to remind me my friendship can bring freedom to someone, and to not be afraid to allow someone's friendship bring freedom to me.

A Little Nudge

A couple of days ago I was out with Blaze in his stall. After feeding him sometimes I just can't help but just stand there and just take in all his beauty. Horses truly are one of the most amazing creatures. All that potentially fatal power and yet a desire to please and be loved in return shown by such graceful movement at times. I am in awe that when Blaze is running in his pasture, I can hear his hooves hitting the ground from my upstairs bedroom... I am amazed that that same powerful animal will stand still (to an extent) when asked of him.


As I was standing there watching I noticed him do something I had never seen him do before. Rob just hung a feeding rack up in his stall, this is something new to him. If you have never seen one before, I guess the best way to describe it is a jail for hay. You drop the hat in the top and it's held from metal bars from which the horse reaches between and pulls his hay out. Blaze started running his nose up from the bottom to the top, I immediately thought he was trying to find a way to get the hay to come back out of the top and fall at his feet where he prefers it, so I lightly scolded him... but after watching him a little longer I came to see that was not the case... it may have been at one time, but Blaze caught on to something. (A lesson again for me to look a little deeper into things)


I eventually witnessed Blaze running his nose up the rack and then eating the scrumptious flakes that fell out of his hay into the manger below. So... he wasn't actually trying to get the hay out... but trying to get the goodness out of the hay.


So it is with us... sometimes all it takes is a little nudge to get a good thing to happen. I am so thankful when God nudges me to get the good to come out.

Insight and Understanding

Well it is a lovely 29 degrees out right now!!! And I really do love it... because I LOVE winter. Blaze however... well I guess he hates it. He has not at all been himself lately. I mean, he has literally been grumpy. I couldn't really understand this at first, and I still am not to sure I do completely. But I have been told that winter makes a horse a completely different beast. Well, that's happening around our barn for sure. Blaze has not one ounce of patience right now. So I have been pretty disappointed with this seeing my sweet loving horse become rude and demanding. SO this morning I went out and fed him and then laid back on a hill of wood chips there by his trough just to hang out with him a little. As I laid there I couldn't help but wonder what had been making him so grumpy... and the longer I laid there... the colder I got... and it all settled in as the wind was whipping around me. Adjusting to the winter would not be FUN for ME either if I had to weather it all outside. So I went in the house, got Blaze a lukewarm bucket of water and brought it out to him. He drank the entire bucket of water as I held it for him, and for the first time in a couple weeks, he was actually not pushing me around and the look in his eyes turned from anxious to thankful.

So it's interesting what a little time spent looking into a situation can uncover, and what a little compassion and understanding can give. How many times do people around us feel like a horse adjusting to winter and all they wish someone would give them was a nice warm drink. Lord, thank you for using Blaze again to show that if we slow down and take the time to think things out, you often will give us peace or reveal and answer to us. And thank you for reminding me that a little lukewarm water is good for any friend's anxious spirit! I pray I share your water well.

Gentleness

So there is no effective way to first get close to a scared horse without having it in mind to be gentle. Unless you're going to lasso him... and really that's not such a bad thing... but if you want a strong bonded relationship... GENTLENESS is a must in that. Oh... yes firmness too... or you'll get walked on... but firm ALL the time will get you a fear based relationship. So it is with our Father God too right? I praise Him for his Gentleness... if He was firm all the time I would just impatiently turn my back. He knows exactly the balance that we need thankfully. And Blaze has been an awesome teacher of that. You know the more you get down God's character and the more you act like Him... the more your horse will be at ease... not to mention the people in your life.

SO I have to confess... I FORGOT my gentleness a couple days ago. Well... Rob was finishing putting walls up in Blaze's stall... so we had Blaze blocked from going into it... an wouldn't you know... Blaze didn't like that idea... so he kept pushing his chest into the wooden gate nearby... hoping to get out... and He probably would have except... oh so smart cowgirl here... slap her leg and yelled "HEY stop that!" oh yeah... I am so far from a cowgirl it cracks ME up!!! Anyway... after my grand idea... it scared Blaze and he lowered his head before turning to run and his head got stuck in the space between the gate and the post it was latched to. OH with horses the chances of serious injury from silly thing like that are HUGE because they are flight animals. And Blaze could have easily broke his neck out of panic... thankfully... with a few scratches only he was able to PULL his head through. I just about lost it from what my own stupidity could have caused. How much more could we have both learned if I would have just reached over the gate and rerouted Blaze.


So let's all remember from this... God is SO gentle with us... because He knows it will work better, AND WE need to be oh so gentle with each other too!!! A lesson I am still trying to grasp!


Thank you Lord for using Blaze to teach me gentleness!

IN A FIELD WITH TWO HORSES

From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.
This alone is amazing..
If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell.
Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.
Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.
As you stand and watch these two horses, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is – trusting that he will not be led astray.
When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.
Like the owners of these two horses, God does not give us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges.
He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.
Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives.
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way...
Good friends are like that ... you may not always see them, but you know they are always there.
THANK YOU, MY GOOD FRIENDS!!
Remember....Let's always be kind to one another- everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

(Thanks Kristina, for emailing me this!)

PATIENCE

Another lesson that I learn everyday with Blaze is patience. Especially in the beginning. Being that he didn't receive much time from people... he was scared, and I couldn't expect things to change over night. Once I got a little braver, I would try to hold his halter and make him stand still for a while... a couple times he was very upset about this. The next time I would go see him he would let me NOWHERE near his face. SO in an attempt to go forward in our relationship... it felt like we were actually taking two steps back, even though we weren't. It required patience to let Blaze see things were going to be ok, that I wouldn't hurt him but that he did have to know I was the boss (well... he still doesn't know that completely... but he will, he will)

So it got me to thinking, isn't that true with kids. We need patience in an all around sort of way, but when it comes to trying to get them to do something they should do, we at times need to be sure we have their attention... and that does not always make us their best friend. But they still do love us and come back to us.

So I have had to have patience with Blaze... and I have developed patience I NEVER thought I would have. Even getting Blaze to choose to walk up to me for the first time took hours and days of just showing my presence was not going to hurt him. One day... after literally a couple hours of sitting in the middle of his pasture AND trying advance and retreat methods... FINALLY he came up to me and sniffed me and then just decided to stand there, and then decided to graze. I was SO blessed when Blaze was finally trusting me enough to graze right by me. I never realized completely until then how IMPATIENT I was. Hours of sitting and being patient, my to-do list rattling through my head, thinking "this is silly, there are a million things I should do right now", but a love for this horse kept me there. Now with kids as well, this has taught me, in order to have a good relationship with them, it should never be about my to-do list first. It should be about the kids first, and they should have my full attention and PATIENCE, and there will be a day... they too will graze by me?

I think Blaze's lesson on patience was also critical for this time in our adoption process. I know the kids will come back, I know many people think I am crazy for hanging on like this... BUT so was Noah when He built the ark... do you know how many years it took Noah to BUILD that ark!!! Look it up... you'll be amazed. And each year you would think he was asking himself, is this flood REALLY coming!!??? But he pressed on, each year! We will press on!

Thank you God for using Blaze to teach me patience.

SINCERETY!!!

Another lesson I have been learning along the way is sincerity. It is amazing how many things God has taught me with Blaze that will teach me to be a better parent. I honestly have to admit I can be a selfish person. I think about myself WAY too much... but God is helping me to be more outward focused. I would have NEVER ever slowed down to wonder WHY something or someone does what they do the way they do it... I guess I never cared. But I am caring more now. The more we understand our animals, friends, spouses and children the more we will know how to care for them, how to pray for them AND they will know we are SINCERE when we look deeper into them.

Well Blaze is who shook me up to understand that this is important. When working with a horse like Blaze you can't ignorantly go into a time of working together, it helps A LOT if you know WHY he does what he does. What drives his fear, how is he feeling today, what is his history etc..

It was awesome confirmation to me today that I am changing for the better... I ACTUALLY STOPPED and watched my cat walking from the barn to the house from up here in the office. I noticed that every few steps he froze and looked around, and I wondered... ABOUT MY CAT... what was driving him to do that! I REALLY DON'T totally get into cats... so the fact that I did that is progress... I mean I just did it... I didn't have to force myself to.

AND most importantly Rob and I will certainly have to look INTO our adopted children. There is so much about them that we DON'T know. We will not always get what drives them, we will not know their complete history. They have not had sincerity all the time from their birth parents so they will need it from us for sure! I mean parents... do you agree... your kids can TELL when you're being insincere... and that will totally effect the relationship we have with them.

I want my kids to know I think about them all the time and that I am SINCERE.
Thank you Lord for using Blaze to move me into sincerity!

BRAVERY!!!!!

Yes this is the LARGEST lesson Blaze has taught me!!! Today I had his hooves trimmed... and WELL Blaze is a stinker... and that's putting it nicely!!!!!! He needs more training and TLC obviously. So getting his hooves done today unfortunately meant, a lot of biting, pushing stomping, pulling, kicking and if you have ever had to control an animal that big while they are being a brat... you know it's intimidating. I felt bad for the farrier, I should be more polished up on my horse skills... but he was so patient with both Blaze and me! And he exhibited true bravery... I mean imagine having the job of picking up a grumpy horses feet, and climbing nearly under his body to hold them up and trim and clean them. Especially... the BACK feet. I totally have a fear of the rear!!

So my first lesson of bravey was when we first bought Blaze... let me tell you his situation.

Blaze was owned by WONDERFUL owners who were not able to care for him anymore. Our friends grandpa owned and LOVED Blaze... but was not able to work with him anymore. And the neighbors... well some were good... but other were cruel to Blaze. We caught one neighbor in the act of throwing fresh cut grass over the fence, which we thought was a nice gesture... but once Blaze went up to the fence to eat it.. the man slapped him across his face repeatedly until blaze ran away. And then another neighbor told us they had witness the same man's sons shooting a beebee gun at Blazes feet. Also we found many thing in his pasture that had apparently been thrown at him to get a reaction.

So when we bought Blaze... he had a fear of man. The first time I ever touched his body his whole body trembled and his eyes were full of fear and uncertainty... how brave HE was to even let me touch him. And yes... an animal as big as a horse CAN be petrified. So eventually after a lot of touching and brushing and loving we finally got out the lead rope... just the site of it set Blaze about kicking and snorting and running. Once he had enough bravery to come up to the rope reaching toward him to snap it on his halter caused him to rear up. And when I finally got it on him he reared up again and turned an kicked and ran off with such power that it ripped the rope out of my hand... yep rope burn!!!!! Well. Here is the thing... I WAS FREAKED OUT but if Blaze sensed my fear it would make things worse so I tried to stay brave... standing right in the middle of this pasture... NO WHERE to go with this horse running and kick all around me... and then TOWARD me. UGGGHHHH

Well I had to go home and seriously pray, I knew God had kept me safe and I KNEW that God wanted me to have this exact horse for a reason. So I needed to cast fear aside. It was NOT easy... and it still is not. BUT I have come VERY far. I never drempt I would be doing what I had to do with Blaze today. But God... through a horse... is teaching me to deal with fear. You see with fear in the way neither Blaze or I would have gotten better.

There are MANY times in our lives that fear can stop healing or stop God's plan. But we CANNOT let it. Or nothing changes. Today... after being done with the hooves... well I felt GREAT... even though I could have done better... but if I would have never defeated the fear... I would have never felt the bliss of growth and victory.

So it goes with our adoption. Defeating the fear... will bring great victory.
Thank you Blaze... Thank you GOD for helping me overcome fear!

Never Could Have Thunk It!

I have decided to start another blog just dedicated to all the awesome things God teaches me about life through my horse. I would have never thought a year ago that God (OR my husband) would have let me have such a beautiful creature! But I have been begging them both for quite a long time... and I believe that God does give us the desires of our hearts!!! And I have to give my sweet husband credit for loving me and understanding my heart enough to know... we NEED a horse... it is just part of me to need a horse... although it goes against Rob's better knowledge!

I will admit... I am a beginner... and because of that I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN!!!!!! I won't kid you with any pretend expertise... but there ARE things God has taught me through my horse that are more valuable than any horse showmanship I could ever learn! I hope to share those lessons with you! I honestly have learned SO much and would hate not to keep track of it even for my own sake!! So be watching... and alert your horse loving friends!! - Hope