Bucked.

It's amazing really. A curve of the back. An arch of the spine. A twist and a split second jump.

What can be a normal body movement for a horse can wreak havoc on our puny human bodies, leaving a lingering reminder of their power... most often in our spine.

The horse simply thinks he's saying "no thanks.... please get off" and our body interprets it quite differently.

The same it is with our human actions and words and facial expressions.

We buck other people more often than we know.

And the effects? Well, they last quite longer than we often realize.

she chose

"Well, she chose it, I gave her the best I could". As the Trainer shut and latched the back of the trailer his heart sank within him. After 11 months or working with a young mustang mare, it was decided to return her to the BLM. He had been her third trainer, and she had been the first mustang that decided to be untouchable under His guidance.

She came out of the Nevada wilderness, bony and wild with little shine left in her eyes. Her first experience with mankind up close was a chaotic one, a world of confusion, slamming gates, sweat and cuts. It was the better choice for her, but to her, it seemed counteractive and hypocritical.

The first trainer to handle her came off tolerable at the surface, but once the mare reached the new training grounds she found her trainer to be a religious zealot as it relates to training. He had been taught one way and that, in his fire and brimstone mind, was the only way to train a horse. He was harsh, she was not allowed to doubt, wonder or ask questions at all. Just submit. But she had a wild, rebellious spirit, given to her in order to survive the wilderness, and she used it now to show her trainer that his closed mindedness had no control over her. As time went on she became more out of control and he selfishly decided he ought to pass along the stubborn mare as to not hurt his own reputation.

Round two seemed glorious at first glance, but the mare only found herself confused in the end. Her first few days she roamed the new pasture at free will, eating green grass and racing around. The new 10 acres seemed familiar. It was the nearest she had been to her original creation since before her supposedly beneficial capture. Between great lulls of time her new trainer would come out and ask a little of her, but with a wild foot forward she was able to push her trainer into a corner and convince him that staying back would always be the best option for them both. Weeks went by and her free will grew a little less satisfying with grass being eaten past its roots and half empty troughs only supplying her with green water beneath a layer of yet brighter green growth. Her hooves now ached, her ribs were showing and she could only stand slightly comfortable if she stood with a backward lean. There was no peace, although free will was plenty. The fence holding her in could have fallen over, but she still would not have successfully been able to move forward without some guidance. Yet one morning as she lay slowly breathing a graceful image seemed to coax her up. She drug her hooves forward as she was asked to load and then merely collapsed again in the trailer.

Round three was about to begin. It was her best chance by far. Her new trainer spoke with a gentle voice. He didn't ask her to stand up, He commanded it, yet with a softness and patience in His voice. She had never experienced the two hand in hand. She seemed to have hope rise within her as she lifted her emaciated body. As weeks passed she saw her trainer every day, even on days she would rather be left alone, He was present. Some days He asked things of her, He asked her to trust, He asked her to listen and to learn and He gave her chance after chance after chance. A soft light returned to her eyes, stronger then the day of her capture. For a minute, she was captivated by this new Trainer. She wanted to know Him more. But she decided to not look any farther, she decided to not trust. He allowed her to ask as many questions as she wanted, as many times as she wanted. He abounded with grace and patience. Sometimes it looked as if she would trust and try to understand, but ultimately it was her who decided to walk away.

Her trainer decided that after nearly a year of reaching out to her, He had to return her to the BLM. No more short term corrals, no more trainers, good or bad. Her chance had passed and she would only roam the long term pastures now. And while in someways it was appealing, she would never know the satisfaction of becoming one creation and moving in step with her Trainer.

Is it the same story with us? As it relates to religion that is? It seems in this world we either have people in our lives who are cramming their religious views down our throats or people who claim to be "praying for us" but that is the only Godly guidance they give us, if they actually DO go pray for us that is. Then we get to the point, that real religion comes along... a true relationship with God is offered to us, someone comes to our life who is not forceful and not fake, someone who truly represents God, but we have been so exhausted by the false religion in our life that we don't want to attempt to take hold of what is true.

We all need to keep ourselves in check in SO many ways (ME included). Are we stuck in a religious form that we only stick to because it is what we know and then we try to force others to believe it but don't really know why? Are we comfortable going to church and smiling nicely, telling people we are there for them and praying for them when we really don't? Or on the other side of the story, are we giving up on who Jesus really is because to us He has been severely misrepresented in our lives so now we miss it all together? If your representing your King wrong, check yourself and get realigned. If you have been on the crazy receiving end, don't give up. He is really out there. Don't walk on by because there will be a day that you will never be able to come back to that place of knowing Him and His heart will sink. HE is not the one that is sending you to long term pastures, it's your choice.

Working with the Good Trainer is an opportunity you don't want to miss. He offers so many freedoms and yet gives certain boundaries to help you. Imagine training your horse without boundaries. Raising your child without rules? They have to be there to guide right? That's why God has set boundaries for us too. Yet those boundaries never seem to restrict at all. There is amazing freedom with Him.

And if you are to the point that you doubt there is a Good Trainer out there at all, go look at your child, or the thing you hold most dear, look at the creation around you. Look at the details. Are we really going to write that off to chance? Evolution? Even if there was a big bang... someone had to create the particles that caused the bang. But it goes beyond that. It is choosing to have faith that will bless your soul more than all else. Imagine if the mare tired one more time to trust.

God's is so real. He adores you. He's a Good Trainer. Take His lead.
A good trainer sets expectations and then gives choices, never forces.
So now He is asking you to choose.

Fairly Unwound.

Everyone heard it coming. There was a pause in the air and a lifting of heads and ears. Those who are there every year knew who had just arrived. A sense of joy and peace that these summer festivities usually bring seemed to quickly evaporate as if dew into the hot morning air.

The bangs, screeching, whinnying, and side to side sway of the trailer came to prove that the high strung mare had once again arrived to take her stance among other four legged 4H competitors. Not only did she possess this tightly wound attitude, but even more so did her owners, acting as if everything was a burden or a chore and needed only to be done with quick seriousness. As the family unloaded the mare and her equipment, everything was done so task oriented that not a glance was made at the crowd who, moments before, were laughing and decorating stalls together. It was their favorite summer tradition every year. One onlooker even bravely emerged from the crowd to greet the family and their bossy competitor, only to be given a cold shoulder casting him off as a waste of time. This family was tightly wound. Every year has been the same. Not only did the joy cease in their family due to the lack of peace, but they seemed to have a black hole effect, draining the joy of others around them whether they knew it or not.

This year, this tightly wound equine had a stall next to one of the largest, most steadfast Quarter Horses known in the area. Through the evening the mare kicked and yelled, and then it stopped... to a point that the campers were alarmed, wondering if something had happened to the mare. A few campers bravely went into the barn... only to find the Quarter Horse resting his chin on the top of the Mare's head. And she merely just stood there. She had peace.

These two things, peace and unrest, can be so contagious can't they? This sweet mare was merely falling victim to the cancerous attitude around her, as horses often do.

We are guilty of the same thing in our personal lives.

At times we get so driven we don't realize we CAN slow down, and if we try, it just doesn't seem normal because we have been so driven for so long that we just continue back in our unrest because it's what we know.

But peace is SO good once we let it settle in and we let some childhood joy back in our hearts.

Believe it or not... that IS what God wants for us. Even if there is chaos going on around us. We will never get there though, unless we allow Him to speak to us and show us this.

"Ministry" is not always about being program based and driven, but it is more often than not about being in each moment and ministering there. We need to not be so busy that we miss the ministry opportunities in front of us with family... or... the onlookers, the crowd around us. Are we giving them the cold shoulder and not even realizing what we're doing?
You deserve peace, they deserve peace... and God IS peace.

Let Him rest His chin on top of your head, and just stand there... soak it in... and then share it.

Out In The Storm

The storm was not even detectable yet to my human body, yet the horses started to form parallel lines facing in a south east directions. Heads hung low as if asleep, yet stirring inside with great expectation of something beyond their control. Although they had shelter, it is not a place they choose to be in such a moment of unknown. Naturally flighty, one may think that a response to a storm might cause a panic in horses, yet it does quite the opposite, they rarely panic, and they rarely hide.

Although I have heard many people scoff at them in these moments,
"Stupid Horses... they just don't know better".
I tend to disagree...There is some wisdom there that I am still trying to wrap my mind around.

Bracing for the storm.

Being calm in the storm.

Knowing that energy is better spent in quiet confidence then in running panic.

As Tropical Storm Emily approaches my husband in Haiti today and I sit way north in Michigan, I simply choose to face myself in a south east position, and pray. Worry, panic, it does no good. Magnifying the situation and speculating, this is of no value either. I take this moment to ask you to please do the same. I know Rob will be fine, but please pray for the people of Haiti, they have no choice but to brace themselves, pray for the effects of the storm coming their way to be minimal. Pray for them to stand confident in their Lord when again, another round of destruction attempts to make its way into their lives.

Looking at horses in a storm I almost want to ask, "How do you just KNOW you are going to be ok!? Why do you choose to stand in the midst of the storm instead of taking shelter?" Perhaps they are confident in their Creator and know that He's in control. What will be, will be.

We can have such crazy "storms" in our lives can't we!? Some are beyond our control with the crazy choices others make that influence us.

Running around and blaming and raging and worrying and panicking and gossiping and magnifying is not going to change the storm one bit, if anything it adds to it.

Instead, choose to surround yourself with a positive group of people...
find your heard and be still.

When there is drama, when there is hurt, be still.

Be still. Trust your Creator.

Be still.

Flies in the Son

Sympathy quickly dripped from my forehead in beads as I went out to do chores today.
It was a hot one, even for the animals. I shooed Blaze out of his stall to clean and while I lifted the fork I glanced over and noticed my guy stomping, bucking and kicking more than usual.
A horsefly was persistently after him.

How can something so small and lowly agitate something so grand and powerful to the point of insanity!? And why are the flies always worse in the sun?

In our lives too, there is an interesting parallel. When we are closer to God, when we are... in the SON, we seem to get attacked more too don't we? And we tend to forget how powerful and grand we are created to be.

We need to realize our grandness, or more importantly the grandness of the God living in us. We need to wrap our mind around the thought that the Holy Spirit is a huge crushing stomping hoof... and He never misses when we ask.

You see.... we NEED to get it....

We need to understand that.

God's desire for us is NOT to let a pesky lowly problem drive us back into our stalls.

Rather, God wants us to stay in the sun, or the Son if you will....

Because that is where the grass grows, that is where life is! That is where we thrive.

Trust Him who is in you. He is greater. Stay in the Son.
The slam of His hoof is mighty... and it is final.

No More Tangles

Do any of you remember your mother spraying that product in your hair
(and oops... your face too)?

"No More Tangles"

Well today as I went out to throw some hay in for Blaze I realized he had quite a knot in his mane. I've been busy lately and haven't had the time to spend with Blaze that I would like, and with a bounding two year old at my side, sometimes life gets that much crazier.

No more tangles...ha.... that would be nice today.

Or... would it?

I couldn't just leave that mess in Blaze's mane. It just didn't feel right to walk away. I grabbed some baby oil (No More Tangles was not available), dumped it on and away we went. Even if that was the only way Blaze and I connected today I was going to get rid of that tangle.

Then it occurred to me...

That tangle, although not a positive situation, forced me to take time for Blaze today.

Sad but true, same can be true in life with family and friends.

We take each other for granted. We are full of excuses why we can't get together.
Usually we're just "too busy" right?

And that's when things get tangled up... when we neglect each other. If we really care, it's then that we take out the baby oil and comb through things... aka... spend time together.

I'm glad God allows the tangles... although painful... it brings us back together doesn't it?

So if you've been neglecting, hop to it!

And if you've been neglected... be patient, God sees your tangles, and He has a plan to get it all straightened out. If the one neglecting you is not coming through for you, take action, look around... is there a place where the grass is greener?

You have one thing a horse may not have... freedom. You do not need to wait for your owner to come help you. You have one Owner, your Creator, and He always has a brush at hand.

His Beats in Hoof Beats.

Standing on the edge of a rocky canyon, arms stretched wide, my soul seemed to take in the air that blew toward the edge of the canyon and then vigorously raced upward and over the edge where I stood. All the while hoof beats wildly slam on the ground racing toward me, threatening to push me off into that wind so I could fly like an Eagle.

Hoof beats can be so much more than they really are can't they?

I have never stood on the edge of a canyon, but the mere sound of my horse racing around his pasture tonight inspires.

His hoof beats did push me off the edge once.

Off the edge of complacency and comfort.

He caused me to face my fears. And still does.
Like a mother bird pushing a bird out of the nest, Blaze pushed me out of the box I was living in.

In a split moment, a charging, testing gelding ran at withered, uncertain me and caused me to burst out in confidence in order to survive, literally in that moment and figuratively in life.

Isn't there just something about that sound... hoof beats that is?

There is so much power, and yet grace at the same time...and with such confidence.
It's a rare person who does not have a rise in their soul when hoof beats stir the dust nearby.

And yet, there are also the gentle plodding hoof beats that seem to say...
"I've got you friend. Climb aboard and tuck your problems away in my saddlebags"

Sometimes, Jesus to ME is a hoof beat or a horse ride.

You know footprints in the sand right? God is carrying you.
Well similarly... I see His one set of tracks... only crescent shaped.

Thank you God for hoof beats...powerful, confident, graceful and gentle.

They are representative of You.

No Such Thing

A well known horse trainer is often quoted with saying, "there is no such thing is a bad horse, just bad trainers".

Many other trainers would argue about that, saying at times... there ARE horses you can't get through to. It certainly seems like it... I've seen some of them.

But in seeing them in a moment... do we really know all there is about that horse that got it to this seemingly malignant attitude? Do we know it's breed? It's history? It's environment(culture)?

I would venture to say something even more controversial than the quote above.

There is no such thing is bad people, just bad choices. Oh... I know that didn't set well with some of you. It didn't even set well with ME as my fingers typed it out. I'm still trying to wrap my own mind around it as I consider some of the monstrous things that have happened in our own communities in the last couple weeks.

However, I would challenge you to ask yourself, does God create people with the purpose of them being BAD!? Does He say... "Oh... and I will purposefully put this one on the Earth to murder and destroy"?

Maybe I have a theological screw loose... Please feel free to tighten it if I do. But I do believe God's intentions for us all are pure... it's what we do from there on out that builds our future and our persona. God knows which path each person is going to take, but it doesn't mean that was His hope for them.

Having this outlook gives greater compassion, and greater insight. It helps to see that even the worst of the worst had a good hope in their created moment. It gives us hope. It inspires us to not give up on them and to try to grab on and pull that hope forward.

I LOVE that challenge with horses. It can be scary... but when someone says there is no hope for a horse's attitude... I just want to see them proven wrong.

Now I am asking God to give me that same challenge with people, souls that matter. Help me Lord to even more passionately look at people with the hope and truth that you can see into their hearts with.

Horrifying actions and situations. Yes. Those are real.

Bad people?

No Such Thing.

Masks.

Lately around the ranch some of the horses have been wearing fly masks to keep the flies from biting their faces. If you've never seen one before they cover the horses eyes and face leaving room for the horses mouth of course so it can eat and drink.

The most interesting thing is, the horse can see you, but you can't see the horse. Kind of like sunglasses right? Your not sure if the person wearing them is looking at you or not... it can be awkward.

But when YOU are the one behind the mask... say... YOU are the horse. It can be convenient to be undercover.

We all wear masks from time to time, don't we? Even for those who might say they don't, there are times they still do to an extent. Masks can be convenient to hide behind.

Do you know someone who wears a "mask". It's frustrating to get to know them isn't it? We kind of throw up our defenses and just give up on trying to get to know them.

Masks... as I am referring to here... often have a negative connotation and if someone isn't going to be real with us, we move one. But here is something worth considering...

Some people put on masks because they have been hurt so much by situations and people in their lives...they are so very very fly bitten. They don't put on the mask hoping that you don't notice them. They put it on to be sure you're sincere.

They hope that even with the mask on you will look into their heart if you really care.

They are putting on masks because they know that the people who look through them must care... because they unselfishly took the time to look deeper.

So look deeper. You don't have to pry, but let people know... you are willing to look past the mask. Let them know they are seen even when the mask makes it hard to see them.

If you stand there long enough, and close enough... you can see through a horses fly mask.

If you are a genuine person and you stick around long enough, and stand close enough... you will see through your friends masks to, and they will be blessed to know, you looked deeper.

Where there's a will...

You've gotta want it. Where there's a will there's a way. We all know these phrases right?

They are so true. And yet, as humans... sometimes... we just let that amazing will of ours sit there. Unmotivated. (Myself included)

I get so inspired by horses though, because most of them always seem to have that will. Sure, some get stuck in a lazy rut from time to time and some are mean, but if you get through to them... almost every horse wants to go and to work and to help. They LOVE the satisfaction of a job well done. Sometimes it takes a trainer to convince them of that again, but once convinced properly... they will do almost anything. The catch?

Well, there's not really a catch. But there are two important motivators.

First of all... They work best when they know their trainer LOVES them.

Second, they work best when they are given clear and consistent direction each time they are asked to accomplish a task.

The trainer needs to care. They need to know when to push a horse and when to back off for the time being. They need to know what they're doing so they ultimately don't mess up the horse and confuse it.

SO in your life. Who is your trainer!? Where do you get your cues?

If it's from the world, you will be confused often and uncertain of the love the world has to offer.

If it's from the Lord, you will never be disappointed.

And that motivation... it will resurface.

Where there's a will, love and proper guidance... there is God. And... there is a way.

Face Him

It's been a while friends! I've been asked to return to blog land! So here I am. =)

I'm eager for another horse season. Eager to learn more!! Attending a recent training at the ranch, I remembered a lesson from last year that I'm not sure I ever mentioned.

A lesson to... Face Him.

Watching a horse working in the round pen, is so much more than a horse just running around in a circle... at least it should be. We are in the pen for the horse, not for ourselves. However, until a person gets insight as to what's really going on in the pen it can be confusing. I remember such an instance last summer.

As I watched a trainer work a horse, it seemed to be as if suddenly the horse could do nothing right to please her. Instead of making it run in circles now she was "chasing" it back and forth making it change directions. Yet, this was for two reasons if not more.

One reason was simply to keep the horse sharp, to keep it thinking, nearly any horse can run in a circle. We want the best horses on the ranch, we want them to think!

A second reason was to get the horse to change directions without turning away from the trainer. Each time the horse changed direction by turning outward, away from the trainer, the trainer would make it change directions again, finally taking off the pressure and blessing the horse once it turned inward to change directions... keeping it's eye ON the trainer and respecting that the trainer had the highest position, and ought to be paid attention to.

Although it can be frustrating, I am so glad God keeps me on my toes in a similar manner...
and keeps me going until...

I
Face
Him.

Where is your shoulder!!?

I was in awe this week as I worked with a beautiful Palomino Mare in the round pen, She's an excellent beauty, but a little lethargic on reacting to her cues, so we were working on getting her to move with less convincing needed.

As she ran in the pen she often decided to slow or walk whenever she wanted. I remembered that my energy needed to be focused on her shoulder. Some say the shoulder is the heart of the horse. Every time I focused in that area she moved forward knowing I meant business, but as soon as I got a centimeter too forward on her neck or too far back towards her rear... she would wander in her attention or slow down.

Now it is possible that she just sensed my attention wandering... but I am often amazed at the influence we have on a horse when we connect with their shoulder. I swear I almost literally felt connected to her when my focus was in just the right place.

So, when God is working with you, stretching you and growing you. Where is your shoulder? WHAT is your shoulder...maybe that's a better question.

Where is the area He focuses that completely gets your attention and draws you in, to move you to keep your eye on Him? Think about it. I would love to hear what you all come up with.

Patience Please.

How would it be if we had a God with little to no patience?

Think of the silly things we do... think... if you were God... how many times would you like to smack a few people (or yourself) alongside of the head to wake them up (OK... well that sounds harsh... but lets just be honest). Really, just ponder for a moment the amount of patience God must have with each of us.

For getting ahead of Him,

for not moving when He says to move,

for not paying attention to Him,

for being lazy or stubborn when He cues us to go in another direction,

for being scared and not trusting that He has everything under control.

You see, a good trainer needs the same qualities as God, at least they need to aspire to have them. And patience is one of the best qualities a trainer can have. In order to get something through to a horse, it often takes time. Sadly, many trainers just "don't have the time" or are not willing to find it. And that's when things get physical. That's when things get frustrating and could look ugly on either end. The trainer can hurt the horse out of frustration or the horse can hurt the trainer out of anger, frustration, or often just plain ol' confusion.

Horses are a lot like people... they can do all the same frustrating things as listed above... if we treat them as God treats us we're gonna get a lot farther with them. God is the best model a trainer can ever have. God does discipline us to an extent... and we should also do so with our horses. But with time and repetition and effectiveness. Most times the impatience we have with a horse comes more from inside of US than it does from the horse. Also we are so culturally driven to make progress, and as we well know... that's not as much the case with the horse. We need to work on their time frame when possible. God certainly does that for us, why should we not reflect that in return and not only with horses, but with the people we love!

Were You Ever Forced

Have you ever been forced to do something. Didn't you lose respect for the person that took your free will away?

Today... I watched my friend "chase" a horse all around a big pasture in order to get it out of the pasture to be worked. Now... she could have gotten a bucket of grain... and bribed it, she could have scared it into the corner... but she didn't. She instead kept it's feet moving until IT decided to join up. The trainer simply made the wrong thing hard and the right thing easy. Eventually the horse got it. The trainer had immense patience. But in the long run, it's better than the horse only doing things out of fear or rewards.

So I came home and ended up having to do the same thing with Blaze. We haven't worked together much this summer... and he was hesitant to give up his lazy freedom. Eventually he got the point too... and just decided it was easier to follow me than to have me constantly making his feet move.

So I came inside, took a shower and had God time. I read a little in Mark and then God put Philemon in my mind. I initially thought "ah.... nah... I don't need to read that... I basically know what it says". But God said... read it anyway...

And what stuck out?

"But I didn't want to do anything without your consent. I wanted you to help because you were willing, not because you were forced." Philemon 14

I believe most the time that's how God deals with us too. He doesn't say "If you go on this Mission trip I will give you a beautiful convertible when you come back!! Come on... just go and I will even give you a new house!!!!" He doesn't bribe. Nor does he say... "If you don't give that widow money I'm gonna smack you into next year!!!!!!!!!!" He doesn't get us to move with fear. There is somewhere in between where He works.... if anything... He makes the wrong thing harder and the right thing easier.

So if you are wondering where God is in your life... maybe you need to be willing to join up with Him. Maybe He has been keeping your feet moving. But ultimately, it needs to be your choice.

A fearful horse is a wreck, as is a spoiled horse. But a willing horse is a beauty.

I Want Her To Look At Me

So today I again had the privilege of watching my dear trainer friend work with a horse. This horse can be a sweetheart some days, and totally off on other days. She is very loved, and does a good job loving back... in her eyes you can see that she wants to do right, she's just trying to figure it all out. As the trainer worked with her today I noticed at one point she kept wiggling the lead rope to bring the horses attention back towards her and she said...


"I want her to look at me"



When a horse is working for you... they should always have at least one eye on you... they should not drift and watch all the other action... if they do that they can miss your cues. Sometimes they want to watch what is happening around them... other times... it's like they are just lost within themselves.



So tonight as I was spending some time with the Man Upstairs... He kept prompting me to read on in the Bible even though I was getting tired... He said He had something to show me about myself. He lead me to the greatest commandments of all... to LOVE Him and my neighbors with all my heart.



I asked Him, "God... why do I struggle with that" He said because I am inward focused.



So I asked Him to please... keep wiggling my lead rope. He said He would.